Hawaii Five-0 (2010) -- Season 9 Episode Reviews

INCLUDING ODDITIES, GOOFS AND TRIVIA

Copyright 2018 by Mike Quigley. No reproduction of any kind without permission.


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CLASSIC FIVE-O (1968-1980):
| Pilot Movie (Episode "0") | 1st Season (Episodes 1-23) | 2nd Season (Episodes 24-48) | 3rd Season (Episodes 49-72) | 4th Season (Episodes 73-96) | 5th Season (Episodes 97-120) | 6th Season (Episodes 121-144) | 7th Season (Episodes 145-168) | 8th Season (Episodes 169-191) | 9th Season (Episodes 192-214) | 10th Season (Episodes 215-238) | 11th Season (Episodes 239-259) | 12th Season (Episodes 260-278) | 13th Season |

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RATINGS:
★★★★ = One of the very best episodes, a must-see.
★★★ = Better than average, worthy of attention.
★★ = Average, perhaps with a few moments of interest.
= Below average, a show to avoid.


1. (S09E01) Ka ‘ōwili ‘ōka‘i (Cocoon) ★★★  BOOK ʻEM, DANNO 
Original air date: 9/28/18

The show began with a preview of what is to come during the show, different than the usual "previously on." McGarrett is in a John Lilly-like sensory deprivation tank in a large room, the "cocoon" of the title, wearing a red scuba outfit with a creepy white mask and connections to a computer plus breathing tubes. The person in charge of his deprogramming orders him out of the pool. Except this person is Wo Fat (Mark Dacascos), who was killed in S05E07, the show's one hundredth episode. McGarrett is strapped to a table and Wo, describing him as "a very stubborn man," removes the mask. McGarrett sees it is Wo, though his vision is blurry.

Then this whole beginning is repeated again, with McGarrett taken out of the tank when he starts hallucinating. Wo is not there any more, a guy named Kang (Roger Yuan) is in charge of things. Kang removes McGarrett's face mask. McGarrett cannot see Kang, because his eyes are covered with gutta-percha, a substance usually used in dental fillings, also used in the original show's "Cocoon" episode that this one is largely based on.

There is only one problem with Wo Fat's presence in this teaser, aside from the fact he is dead, which is that when we see this sequence later, Wo Fat is not there at all. We see only the part with Kang, and McGarrett has not only his eyes, but also his ears sealed with gutta-percha. He cannot hear anything, so how could he have "heard" the dialogue that Wo Fat said up to that point and visualize what he was doing, especially since Wo is in the nearby cocoon control room which makes him even more isolated from McGarrett?

I guess you can say "this is a hallucination, so anything goes," but there would have been a better solution to this opening of the show, aside from just eliminating it because it basically gave away a lot of the suspense about what is to come.

In the Classic Five-O pilot "Cocoon," originally a 2-hour made-for-TV movie broadcast on September 20, 1968, there was a scene which was not included. Perhaps cut out of this pilot, it was not seen until the pilot was re-edited, split into two one-hour parts and rebroadcast in June of 1969. In the second part of that show, McGarrett (Jack Lord) is hallucinating, and he is thinking about Wo Fat (Khigh Dhiegh), who is in charge of his torture in the tank. He starts yelling "Soundproof cocoon, baloney! You goofed, Mister Wo Fat! You hear me? You goofed, Fatso! I hear it creaking, rubbing noises. That gurgling noise."

The revamped "Cocoon" would have made more sense if we had a point-of-view of Alex O'Loughlin's McGarrett in the tank after six hours thinking about the Mark Dacascos Wo Fat, maybe yelling something like the above, then he was hauled out of the tank, and we had an O'Loughlin point-of-view from the inside of the mask being cut off his face, with Mark Dacascos appearing and then dissolving into Kang. This sequence would appear later on in the show, not just in the preview.

The "cute opening" after the main credits involved McGarrett and Junior digging a large hole in McGarrett's front yard to bury the cash which Kamekona had given him and Danno connected with the "takeover" of their on-again/off-again restaurant. I don't know why McGarrett felt "I really don't have anywhere else safe to keep it. Except for maybe a bank." As he explained to Tani, who showed up to watch them dig, "If I deposit this money in a bank, I have to hire a lawyer, okay, to draw up a formal partnership agreement. We're trying to stay liquid at the moment."

Five-Zero has "immunity and means," fer chrissakes, so you would think they could come up with a more creative solution. But then maybe McGarrett was having bad memories of dealing with large amounts of money experienced earlier on in the series, which almost led to Five-Zero's dissolution. Tani, by the way, seemed unusually chirpy; I felt like telling her "Hey, you've only been on the team for a year, have a bit more humility like Junior!"

From this point on, the new "Cocoon," which was intended as a tribute to the original Five-O, celebrating its 50th anniversary this year, was VERY GOOD. In fact, it was one of the top shows since the beginning right up there with S04E10, the "Pearl Harbor" show. The remake of "Hookman" does not qualify for this pantheon, in my opinion, because of Danno's idiotic anti-gun rant in that episode.

Written by executive producer Peter Lenkov and based on the original Cocoon's screeplay by series creator Leonard Freeman, the new show followed the original closely, including characters, settings, locations and dialogue. Sure, there were some questions like "How does McGarrett get a job in the Arcturus, the ship which contains the cocoon?", "How does McGarrett snoop through the ship to find the cocoon despite the place swarming with guards," and "Why does McGarrett just walk casually around the docks waiting to be captured by Kang?" (which, of course, happened). But guess what -- the same questions could be asked of the original.

For the last month or so, I've been immersed in redoing my first season episode reviews of the original show because of the 50th anniversary, including an extremely detailed look at the original "Cocoon". So I don't know how someone who hadn't seen the original might view regard the remake.

I was expecting the worst from Danno in the new show, but he seemed relatively subdued, and some of his dialog actually filled in expository details, thus making sure the show would fit in one hour, instead of two.

There were some interesting touches like the CIA bigshot named Jonathan Kray (Jonathan Kay in the original -- who was also referenced by the late Jenna Kaye in the first two seasons and the 100th episode) and the guy accompanying McGarrett's former CIA girl friend Greer (Rochelle Aytes) named Miller (Jack Coleman), the same name as an agent played by Andrew Duggan in the original who betrayed McGarrett like Greer did in this one.

Another highlight of the new show was a kick-ass fight between McGarrett, Danno and the uncredited guy named Chow who was snooping around the room of McGarrett's murdered CIA friend Hennessey. Chow "used to work for the Ministry of State Security in China," according to Miller. The gun battle at the end, highly reminiscent of the original, was not bad either.

Probably the funniest reference was at the end where Danno was wondering if McGarrett had been brain-damaged by his experience in the cocoon, and he asked his pal how long they had known each other. McGarrett replied, "50 years ... Feels like 50 years."

One major disappointment was the usual non-stop music, which was not particularly memorable. Although I realize there are issues with the score from the original, which is involved in an ongoing lawsuit, surely considering this is the show's 50th anniversary, there could have been at least one reference to the Five-O theme in the show itself?

MORE TRIVIA:


2. (S09E02) Ke kanaka i ha‘ule mai ka lewa maia (The Man Who Fell from the Sky) ★★
Original air date: 10/5/18

After last week's remake of the original Five-O's pilot episode "Cocoon" which was one of the best Five-Zero episodes ever and definitely worth watching, even among devotees of the old show who find the reboot loathsome, we were back to the usual ho-hum two-for-one with this show.

It got off to a very bad start, with one of those not uncommon Five-Zero premises which mean everything after that should not make any sense.

A white guy who is in the employ of evil Chinese dudes (ECD) and pretending to be a US federal air marshal (USFAM) grabs this other white guy named Jack Teague (David Preston) who is a double agent the Chinese want to interrogate, torture, and so forth. This happens on a Hanalei Air plane while Teague is on his way to Hawaii, pretending to be Mr. Family Man. There Teague will meet up with Miller (Jack Coleman), former pal of McGarrett's ex-girlfriend and now traitor Greer (Rochelle Aytes), so he can be put in a safe house, because ECD know that Teague is up to no good. The USFAM, because of who he is pretending to be, can take a gun on board the plane as well as a huge carry-on bag which contains a parachute. He straps himself together with Teague and, opening the door of the plane, jumps out as it is approaching Honolulu International Airport.

There is only one thing that is really stupid here. When we see this, the plane is descending towards the airport over the water. Yet these two guys end up in the jungle which is pretty funny, considering places where you might land by parachute on Oahu in this manner have always struck me as relatively close to civilization in some way no matter where you are, as can be seen by the fact that Danno, Tani and Junior, who are sent out later to find these two guys, are not using satellite phones, but their regular cel phones, duh!

This crime of the week had a complicated plot, to say the least, compounded by treachery from Greer who seemingly did not leave Hawaii after she got intel from the (not) brainwashed McGarrett in the previous show. Like the trio from Five-Zero, Greer was in the jungle hunting for Teague with some ECD (to whom she spoke Chinese) and there was a predictable firefight between the two groups and, of course, Five-Zero triumphed and Greer was busted.

At the end of the show, as Greer is taken away to be "charged under the Espionage Act," according to McGarrett, Greer starts suggesting that she knows stuff that McGarrett did that was not on the up-and-up when they were romantically involved way back when. To be continued!

The show had some humor, with Jerry saying "Boo-yah" twice and Grover being concerned because his wife's SUV, which he was using while his car was in the shop, got totally destroyed at the end of the show when it rammed into a car full of ECDs taking Teague to the Chinese Consulate in Honolulu where he would become "untouchable" as far as Five-Zero was concerned. This further batch of ECDs seems in addition to those who were knocked off by the Five-Zero threesome in the jungle. (There actually is no Chinese consulate in Honolulu, by the way; the closest one is in Los Angeles.)

The secondary story for the week had to do with Tani, who is still having aneurysms over what she should do with Adam's gun that she found that may implicate the still-missing-from-this-season Adam in the death of his half-sister. She goes to see Captain Keo (Eric Steinberg), the training officer from HPD that Tani punched out, breaking his nose, which -- in addition to her cheating on her final exam -- resulted in her getting kicked out of the police academy and hired by Five-Zero. She wants Keo to check Adam's gun "off the books" because she doesn't want to destroy her relationship with McGarrett and the team. Keo describes her as "a rule breaker," and says he cannot help her, adding "that may be okay for you, for Five-O, but it is not the way I do things."

However, at the end of the show, Keo comes to see Tani, saying he has had second thoughts, because two days before their altercation, Tani's father died, therefore she was stressed. Or so the implication goes. But wouldn't have Keo already known that, because McGarrett and Danno knew this when they hired Tani at the beginning of last season? Keo tells Tani he will check the gun, but cautions her not to thank him yet, because "You don't know what I'm gonna find."

MORE TRIVIA:

3. (S09E03) Mimiki ke kai, ahuwale ka papa leho (When the Sea Draws Out the Tidal Wave, the Rocks Where the Cowries Hide Are Exposed) ★★
Original air date: 10/12/18

Another "meh" episode which, though well-made, was not like a typical Five-Zero show.

It prominently featured Junior and Tani, whose crime-solving and gazing with "will-they-won't-they" anticipation at each other took up more time than the Crime of the Week (see Excel spreadsheet below). Some of the show was light hearted, not only because of these two, but also because of comedy from Grover and Kamekona. The comedy parts of the show also took up more time than the Crime of the Week.

But the show was also horribly violent, with a nasty woman fugitive shooting two cops, one right in his chest as he was laying on the ground, then killing a motorcycle rider and stealing his bike as well as beating two other people so their faces looked like strawberry jam.

Tani didn't mention anything about Adam's gun at all, which was good. Tani did an imitation of Danno whining during a cargument, which was bad.

In the "please don't do that" department, the writers dragged in the restaurant where the power had gone out because of the heat wave featured throughout the show and the food in the freezer was being put in danger. Of course, there was the usual moronic discussion between McGarrett and Danno. UGH!

I don't have much else to say about the show, so I will just repost the notes I made. These are not exactly the original notes, they have been expanded a bit. If you have seen the show, you will know what I am referring to...

A heat wave in Honolulu. "So hot in here" whose song? [It is "Hot in Herre" by Nelly]
- Tani is in car and hot, traffic jam.
- Heatwave - Martha & the Vandellas.
- Junior is watching football (who is playing?).
- Woman is fugitive, 2 cops are shot dead. Nasty violence!
- Dog the Bounty Hunter is first in guest stars, a bad sign.
- Restaurant has a blackout, freezer not working.
- Kamekona shows up, comedy.
- Missing woman is Tracy Benson.
[commercial break]
- Topless Dog the Bounty Hunter in tub of ice, repulsive.
- Dog talks to Grover who is playing golf despite the heat.
- Benson beat up her landlord badly, now in hospital.
- "Heat makes people do crazy things".
- Landlord's wife suggests Benson had insurance settlement, that's where she got her money to pay rent.
- Temperature is 105° now.
- Junior drives Tani's car like McG does Danno's.
- Tani does very lame imitation of Danno complaining while in car.
- Guy on roof threatening kids in his pool, name of Makaio (? Doesn't look Hawaiian).
- He is taking sertraline (an antidepressant).
- Junior is negotiating with guy, the music is stupid.
- Junior talks to Tani about his sister, she was taking meds, the music is sad.
- Tani's car gets stolen.
[commercial break]
- Temperature is 106° now.
- Junior and Tani decide to walk back to H50 HQ (how far is it, Junior says it takes hour).
- Grover's caddy is Gary, he doesn't want to work, it is too hot.
- Jerry goes to get some ice from convenience store.
- Some guy buys the last 2 bags, a tattooed guy figures he should get it, starts to make trouble.
- Jerry knocks out tattooed guy on head with a bottle, then finds out this dude's wife is pregnant.
- The ice the first guy bought all melted (what, within a minute or so?).
- Kamekona puts the prices of his shaved ice up from $5 to $15, people are pissed.
- McG and Danno go to Benson's apt, the A/C is working there.
- Benson is ID'd as Allison Ross, a bank robber, money ($500,000!) she was hiding was taken by A/C repairman.
[commercial break]
- Temperature is 109° now.
- Benson's address is 3429 Kapulani Drive, McG and Danno check with A/C company as to who came to fix the A/C.
- Why does the A/C company give McG private info about where the repairman lives, even though McG identifies himself as from H50?
- Junior talks more about his sister, she was killed by a drunk driver. More sad music.
- Junior and Tani are happy to encounter an ice cream truck.
- Temperature is 110° now.
- Grover's golf score is 72, which is par for the course. He is happy, but the caddy has passed out, Grover persuades him to lie about witnessing a spectacular putt he made.
- McG and Danno go to A/C guy's place, he is badly beaten up.
[commercial break]
- They find Benson in the elevator which has stalled between floors b/c of power outage b/c of the heat (I guess), she died from the heat?!? I thought she would suddenly come back to life if McG dropped down into the car. How did McG get down the elevator cable easily? Remember he had experience with his mother a long time ago.
- The tattooed guy with pregnant wife brings her to convenience store, the clerk moves crap out of the cooler and she sits inside it (really). Mr. Tattoo holds a cold can of beer on the back of her neck while massaging his wife's leg and belly. The song "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley plays in the background. Shut up! [Very bad word is censored here]
- A mob of angry customers turned over Kamekona's truck.
- McGarrett lectures Kamekona.
- Tani and Junior track down her car, some guy stole it for the A/C. Tani has a good line to Junior regarding her car, b/c Junior left the keys in it, that's why it was stolen: "If he [the guy who stole it] used it as a toilet, you're paying to get it detailed." The thief wants sympathy from them, he is busted.
- When Tani and Junior try to drive the recovered car away, it dies because the A/C drained the battery.
- Tani and Junior go swimming, it starts raining, music is "Singin' in the Rain" (puh-leeze).

Description Start End Total Category Percentage
KK at restaurant 0:06:15 0:08:16 0:02:01 Comedy  
Grover golf 0:09:30 0:11:03 0:01:33 Comedy  
Grover golf 0:19:57 0:21:29 0:01:32 Comedy  
KK / Flippa / up prices 0:23:04 0:24:43 0:01:39 Comedy  
Grover golf 0:30:15 0:32:19 0:02:04 Comedy  
Grover golf 0:35:27 0:38:10 0:02:43 Comedy  
      0:11:32   27.37%
           
Cops, shooting 0:03:32 0:04:31 0:00:59 COTW  
McG/Danno, crime scene 0:08:16 0:09:30 0:01:14 COTW  
McG/Danno investigate 0:11:03 0:13:00 0:01:57 COTW  
Jerry helps McG/Danno 0:13:00 0:14:03 0:01:03 COTW  
McG/Danno apartment 0:24:43 0:28:06 0:03:23 COTW  
McG/Danno solved 0:32:19 0:34:30 0:02:11 COTW  
      0:10:47   25.59%
           
Jerry Ice 0:21:29 0:23:04 0:01:35 Jerry  
Jerry Freezer 0:34:30 0:35:27 0:00:57 Jerry  
      0:02:32   6.01%
           
Intro HI shots, hot 0:00:00 0:00:43 0:00:43 Misc.  
Opening Credits 0:04:31 0:05:03 0:00:32 Misc.  
Rain 0:40:37 0:41:40 0:01:03 Misc.  
End Credits 0:41:40 0:42:08 0:00:28 Misc.  
      0:02:46   6.57%
           
McG/Danno, restaurant 0:05:03 0:06:15 0:01:12 Restaurant 2.85%
           
Tani in traffic 0:00:43 0:01:59 0:01:16 Tani/Junior  
Tani and Junior, office 0:01:59 0:03:32 0:01:33 Tani/Junior  
Tani/Junior kids in pool 0:14:03 0:19:57 0:05:54 Tani/Junior  
Tani & Jr walking 0:28:06 0:30:15 0:02:09 Tani/Junior  
Tani and Junior, car/swim 0:38:10 0:40:37 0:02:27 Tani/Junior  
      0:13:19   31.61%

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JUMP TO ANOTHER SEASON:

NEW FIVE-0 (2010-?):
| 1st Season | 2nd Season | 3rd Season | 4th Season | 5th Season | 6th Season | 7th Season | 8th Season| "Next" Season |

CLASSIC FIVE-O (1968-1980):
| Pilot Movie (Episode "0") | 1st Season (Episodes 1-23) | 2nd Season (Episodes 24-48) | 3rd Season (Episodes 49-72) | 4th Season (Episodes 73-96) | 5th Season (Episodes 97-120) | 6th Season (Episodes 121-144) | 7th Season (Episodes 145-168) | 8th Season (Episodes 169-191) | 9th Season (Episodes 192-214) | 10th Season (Episodes 215-238) | 11th Season (Episodes 239-259) | 12th Season (Episodes 260-278) | 13th Season |

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